Yes, friends, Miss Piggy has returned! And she may even be better than the real thing. For all of you who don't understand why this is such a momentous occasion, let me explain. When I was but a little brie-devouring tyke, my favorite toy in the universe was a Miss Piggy doll. How I loved her molded-plastic face, unruly blonde mane, collection of purple evening gowns, and pink opera gloves! She was, by far, my favorite Muppet. I giggled when she bossed the Frog around and showed off her impressive karate skills. Hiiiiiiiiiii-yaaaaaa!!!
Miss Piggy and I were pretty much inseparable. That is, until a fateful night my parents invited some friends over, too much wine was had...and Miss Piggy disappeared. I woke up the next morning and began to frantically search for her, in tears. Fingers pointed at my dad's good buddy Kelly, who used to torment me by pretending to punch dear Piggy in the face.
But Kelly proclaimed his innocence, and soon after, the search was called off. Yet throughout the years, the memory of Miss Piggy still haunted us. Nearly every time I saw Kelly, I'd demand to know where she was, and eventually, it became a long-standing inside joke. For my high school graduation, Kelly sent a gift from Miss Piggy -- a small pink cosmetics case that looked like a hatbox, with National Geographic maps cut up and glued to the outside. Inside was a check and a letter from Miss Piggy, describing her travels around the world for the past 15 years.
And then, last week, my dad and I met Kelly for dinner to catch up. When I got to the restaurant, my dad and Kelly were already seated, and as I arrived at the table, I saw someone else seated there -- the Miss Piggy doll pictured above. Kelly "found" this very suitable replacement on one of his recent business trips, bringing a fitting end to a more than 20-year absence.
Welcome home, Pig.